Let's start with poop (sorry to the weak stomached, the modest, and my husband who probably has friends reading this). I am a very regular girl. In fact we both are in this house, and I will assume that all of our children will be very regular. Whole grains and fiber are plentiful around here. I have heard enough horror stories about severe pregnancy constipation, hemorrhoids, and various other traumatic bathroom issues that I know I shouldn't be complaining, but this is a pity party and I'm going to. I just want a good poo. That's all I am wishing for. Nothing major, just a feel-good, you-know-you're-all-cleared-out poo. I'll be sure keep you posted.
Pizza—disgusting! Cheese sticks—shudder! I think I might have just cheesed myself out, but these go-to staples are no longer working. I am still forcing the cheese sticks down until I can find a suitable replacement, but it literally sends chills down my spine to think about them right now. It looks like whole grain bagels are on the horizon. I had a Starbucks multi-grain bagel with cream cheese yesterday, which went okay. I even looked up the nutrition facts and found out that the combo is providing me with 17 grams of protein and 430 calories. That's more protein than the blocks of tofu I've
Waking up in the morning is the worst time of the day. It's basically all my pregnancy symptoms at once in a wave of nauseating fury. It usually starts with cramps that are caused by the need to poop. Once I wake up enough and realize what's going on, I say, "fine, I'll poop". So I throw my legs over the side of the bed and realize I feel disgusting. Then I take the nauseating walk to the bathroom not sure if I need to throw up or poop more (still no vomit yet!). I decide poop is more important and do my business while pondering what I will do if I puke while going poop. The poop is far from satisfying so I go to the couch and journal or blog. This is when my food from the night before starts to empty from my stomach (I have slow digestion). I think I might throw up again since I'm now "hungry"—this is a very poor way to describe the feeling, it's more like I need to eat, but I don't want to—so I grab a cheese stick. The cheese stick is disgusting and I try to chug water down with it to drown out the taste. I keep journaling or blogging and feel my food continue to digest, which makes me feel like I need to poop again. It's vicious, I'm telling you!
I'm almost done, I promise.
I smell everything. Recently, I will take my shoes off (I wear flats that slide on and off easily) and make myself disgusted by the scent coming from my feet. I didn't realize I had stinky feet until now. Why didn't someone tell me! I also smell phantom smells that I don't even think exist—usually just for a split second. Sadly, I can't even stand Arthur talking face to face with me. I turn away and make him talk to the back of my head when we're laying in bed. What a jerk of a wife.
Lastly, most of my pants don't fit already—unless I am willing to sport a really inappropriate muffin-top, which I'm not. I do have a couple belly bands, but it's really the principle I'm annoyed with. I just feel fat from my normal self, if that makes sense. Despite my claim to have "the makings of a baby bump", it's really more just a bloated stomach. I imagine it's going to be this way for a while, so I better just get on board. I know it's for a good cause. Here's to taking one for the team!
By the way, I just looked at a picture of a tomato and wanted to heave. I guess those are off the list too.
Note: This post was written during week 6 of our pregnancy. I am currently at week 13. We should be caught up and posting "real-time" in a couple weeks.
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