I am struggling with a serious sense of guilt for not being able to help out with anything around our home. Arthur often reassures me that he is glad to help and sees this as his sacrifice to make during this tough season. Still, I can't seem to shake the feeling of guilt while I lay around and he's cooking and cleaning. I start to do things like ask him to look happier so I know he isn't upset. I am definitely believing lies that he is bitter in serving me and would rather be in a different situation. I need to trust my husband's intentions and am totally convicted of that right now—praise Jesus!
I guess I just generally expected this time to be happier and more relaxed. I have a feeling most of this can change if I decide to change my attitude to be more grateful and less hard on myself or my husband. I officially make this my goal for the upcoming week.
What's Up With the Baby
Baby K is now the size of a blueberry! He/she has doubled in size since last week. Baby's brain—both hemispheres—is growing fast, generating about one hundred new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place.
How I’m Feeling
I feel like poop. That pretty much explains it all. Although no vomiting, I feel nauseous nearly all day and have has some pretty close calls. It feels a bit like the queasiness that comes with the stomach flu. The rough part is that there really isn't any reprieve from feeling yucky. The flu lasts just a few days, but this goes on and on. It's mentally exhausting at times! The mornings are almost always my worst time of day.
Also, my exhaustion is still in full swing. This, combined with feeling sick, is mentally wearing on me and it's hard to focus on much of anything right now. Work is a huge challenge and I find myself constantly zoning out. Being home is also difficult since I just want to lay down and go to sleep the minute I get home. My poor guy is a champ, but definitely feeling less than cared for.
I officially retract my baby bump claim from last week. There is definitely no bump yet—maybe bloating, but no bump. I am actually learning that my uterus is still probably situated in my pelvic cavity and the top of my uterus might start to emerge around 12 weeks. Sure, many women start to show before this, but I'm not expecting much for a couple more weeks. It's such a weird season being pregnant, but having nothing to show for it—it doesn't feel quite "real" yet. I feel growth though as my cramping continues. I've started to feel them pretty heavily in my back and had one really bad one earlier in the week that left me feeling awful afterward. There wasn't any bleeding, so I decided not to be concerned. No panicked calls to the midwives yet!
Also, my exhaustion is still in full swing. This, combined with feeling sick, is mentally wearing on me and it's hard to focus on much of anything right now. Work is a huge challenge and I find myself constantly zoning out. Being home is also difficult since I just want to lay down and go to sleep the minute I get home. My poor guy is a champ, but definitely feeling less than cared for.
I officially retract my baby bump claim from last week. There is definitely no bump yet—maybe bloating, but no bump. I am actually learning that my uterus is still probably situated in my pelvic cavity and the top of my uterus might start to emerge around 12 weeks. Sure, many women start to show before this, but I'm not expecting much for a couple more weeks. It's such a weird season being pregnant, but having nothing to show for it—it doesn't feel quite "real" yet. I feel growth though as my cramping continues. I've started to feel them pretty heavily in my back and had one really bad one earlier in the week that left me feeling awful afterward. There wasn't any bleeding, so I decided not to be concerned. No panicked calls to the midwives yet!
What I'm NOT Eating
Everything! Not one thing in this entire universe sounds appealing to me. Not junk food, health food, sweets, cheese, bread, smoothies, mac n cheese, cereal, nut butters, hummus, crackers, soup, solid foods....nada nothin. I am near gagging just thinking about all those things. Though, I will confess my one vice: pickles! It's true! This pregnant lady ate a whole baggy of dill pickles on her way to work yesterday morning.
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| Sitting in morning traffic on the West Seattle bridge—ugh! |
What I am eating
I know I need to eat, and these are the things I've been able to get down: scrambled eggs with cheese (once in a tortilla with avocado and salsa), multi-grain bagels with cream cheese, strawberry juice from TJs, 1 greek yogurt (woohoo!), soup, mac n' cheese, and a few mugs of cereal with banana slices and a scoop of peanut butter—but only if I'm feeling "good". I made enchiladas earlier in the week and ended up eating a fair amount of them, however, now that seems unthinkable (gag!!). There are occasionally times throughout the day where I feel good and will try to scarf down whatever (healthy food) I have around me.
Water and ginger tea are my absolute favorite comfort "foods" right now. I think it might be time to invest in some saltine crackers...
Exercise
I only exercised once at the beginning of this week. I was able to manage about 30 minutes of cardio (3 miles) at a noticeably slower pace with a quick round of weight lifting. I can't say I felt great after my workout, but I'm glad I did it and hope to keep myself moving even when I don't feel good.
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| Photography and treadmill not recommended. I felt guilty for being so risky and won't do that again! |
Need to catch up?
Pregnancy Posts:
Weekly Updates:
I was I'll with both girls. The sickness wore off between 11-12 weeks and by 15 weeks, I was like, oh, it was not that bad! Ha! God's way of making you have more babies. So so worth it, but utterly exhausting-and then you get pregnant again and have a toddler to take care of:) I literally went to bed at 8 many nights:)
ReplyDeleteIt was always super helpful to remind myself that I wasn't alone in the yuckiness, and that women have been doing this forever. I started feeling better right around week 12 and have way more energy and less food aversions now. Even looking back to week 7 is so funny because I would totally have forgotten how I felt had I not written it down :) Can't imagine feeling this way with another little one to take care of!
DeleteI really enjoy reading your documentation of your pregnancy! I was very much the same with foods in the beginning. Something would finally sound good, I'd eat it and than the next day I couldn't even think about it! Bananas were my silly dislike. I have ALWAYS enjoyed bananas but just the thought of a banana made me feel sick... I started feeling better around week 12 like you (besides all the kindergarten germs I kept getting) but now at week 24 I feel like I'm back in the beginning again... Thanks for sharing all of this! So fun to read about someone else's experience.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lena! It's fun to know people are enjoying my stories :) I'm sorry you're back to feeling yucky. I am definitely keeping the fact that sickness could come back in the back of my mind. I feel lucky that my first tri has been fairly easy compared to other ladies' (i.e. no vomiting). Were you very sick in the beginning? Hope you feel better soon!
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